I Cried

I'm Man Enough To Admit It

Hey guys,

Welcome back!

I cried yesterday.

Yes, I admit it, I had a little weep.

The thing is, nothing leading up to that moment suggested that it may have even been a possibility.

Well, aside from one thing;

Lack of sleep.

That is the only thing I can think of.

You see, I’ve just started a new job. Nothing major, just something to earn a little extra cash, but it does require me to work late.

So my sleep pattern has been thrown off a little and as a result, I believe, the floodgates were opened for a brief period yesterday.

Has this ever happened to you?

Let me tell you a story:

When I was 21, I went to America to work on a summer camp. It was a great experience.

But I did A LOT of drinking.

I desperately wanted to party whilst I was out there as it was my first time visiting the States so I decided that during the summer camp I would try to train my body to function on very little sleep.

I would stay up as late as possible then get up and go about the day, looking after kids with ADHD!

In hindsight, it was a terrible decision.

But at the time, drinking, partying and hooking up with girls was my TOP priority, so I continued to '“train” myself to stay up late and get up early.

By the time camp was over I was down to four hours sleep.

I had earned a little money and I was free to travel the country, and have some fun!

It was an awesome experience and my “sleep training” paid off because I partied hard.

I returned home satisfied with my decision to skip proper sleep, fully expecting to catch up now I was back in my own bed.

Sadly though, my Mum died shortly after I got back and the built-up sleep deficit and devastating loss of my Mum meant that I slept very little, and I cried a lot.

For years afterwards, and as my drinking got worse because I couldn’t deal with the loss, I struggled to get that sleep back. I felt tired all the time and I was always close to tears - especially the day after a big drinking session.

When I look back on this period, aside from regretting how I failed to deal with losing my Mum in a healthy manner, I wish I had been sleeping and resting properly.

It really affected me.

I fully believe that getting enough sleep and rest is extremely important for our mental health.

It is something I encourage for those in early sobriety.

For years we abused our bodies through drink, drugs, partying and lack of proper rest & recovery and our emotions are understandably all over the place.

Crying isn’t bad. And it doesn't make you less of a Man.

However, this reaction shouldn’t really be a result of a lack of sleep.

I believe it should be reserved for genuine reasons.

Yes, sometimes you just need to let it out, but my argument here is that it would be much healthier if those tears weren’t as a result of your body clock being out but rather because you’re feeling genuine emotions - both happy and sad.

Do you agree?

Anyway, now that I’ve got that off my chest, I’d love to hear from you.

Do you cry?

Do you cry a lot?

Do you think it is healthy to cry?

Do you think that crying makes you less of a man?

Leave a comment


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Thank you for reading “I Cried”

Check out the last public post: “Out With The New, In With The Old

Take care,

Roscoe | Birth of Clarity

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