The dark thoughts that come from years of excessive boozing and drugging may not seem like much to worry about...
That's because you've probably convinced yourself they're just part of your hangover or come-down.
However, once those dark thoughts occur, they are likely to manifest as your drinking ‘career’ continues.
While your drinking/ partying may be cool and fun in the moment, the next day may not be that way. In fact, the next day is usually horrendous.
You may also be abusing drink or drugs because you want to wallow in the darkness and revel in the dark thoughts.
Sometimes the darkness may seem like the most comfortable place for you.
I battled the darkness and depression of the ‘next day blues’ after a heavy drinking session. The feeling of guilt, the irrational emotions and thoughts of 'why do I keep doing this to myself'.
I've also battled the strong urges of self-destruction. The warm blanket of misery, pain and suffering… as mad as that sounds!
With hangovers & come-downs, it's easy to dismiss the feelings as a by-product of the chemicals, which of cause they are, but they are also something more. Something far more telling.
And of course, the active pursuit of the darkness is extremely worrying behaviour, which I will address in further newsletters.
However, for now, let's highlight an area that may not appear on the radar of someone abusing substances.
Damaging your soul
The constant battle brought on by excessive boozing and drugging brings very low energy and does not feed your soul with anything positive - something that it thrives on.
Stick with me…
Stop chasing the escapism of constant self-abuse brought on by self-medication, you're destroying your soul.
Start experiencing what life really has to offer so you can gain more information for your soul to carry on to its next journey.
Our eternal spirit is something that will live on without us, meaning we should feed as much as possible with positivity.
If this sounds like a hippy notion then you would probably be right, however, the more I feed by myself positive energy, the more alive I feel and the more I feel my soul is benefiting.
I spent years lowering my eternal energy by pursuing a quick fix to my problems with booze and drugs, and porn and one night stands. I spent years drinking my life away, lowering my energy and destroying my soul whilst I chased the next good night, and then later on, as I tried to drink away my pain and seek oblivion.
As my hangovers got worse, so did my mood. As I drank more, I could feel myself being drawn more and more to the darkness, the dark thoughts…thoughts that suicide eventually dominated.
The darkness began to surround me and I could feel my soul being eaten away.
It is hard for your soul to find peace when you're constantly subjecting it to chaos.
That inner peace is what you soul craves. That peace gives your soul the ability to attach itself to high energy and positive frequencies because it is not surrounded by darkness and low energy.
Positive actions will lift your spirit.
If you don't subscribe to the notion of souls and of eternal energy, that is fine. I speak only of my thoughts on the subject. I try to describe best the feelings boozing, drugging, partying and my sexual escapades brought me.
They brought me emptiness in the long run. They depleted my soul.
Yes, I had some amazing times. Some great memories were created. But when these substances start replicating self-abuse and lead you down a dark path, you need to break free.
You need to call time on these soul destroying endeavours. They are not worth destroying your life over. They are not worth warping your morals over and damaging your character over. And they are not worth decimating your soul over.
Thank you for reading “Battle For Your Soul”.
I appreciate the positive responses I got from my last newsletter “Sobriety Journey” - I will sit down this week to reply to all the messages sent.
Also, a big thank you to Justin for buying me a coffee, much appreciated my friend 🙏
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